I would consider myself a very trustworthy person. No matter what my current or future opinion of someone is, I do everything I can to hold their trust.
I wanted to bring up a question asking if it is even possible to be completely trustworthy and honest.
After lots of thought, my answer to this question is no.
I say no because achieving trust and honesty is not as simple as it sounds. It is expanded and divided on a much larger scale than it may seem. By this I mean there are more than just 2 people involved in a situation of trust.
Although something as simple as telling a secret may not seem so complicated at first glance, it is much deeper and involves many more people. Yes, talking about secrets sounds childish. However, secrets are the main factor in establishing trust in a person.
Before I dive into my realization, I will define trust and honesty to make sure you understand the difference.
Honesty: The quality of being free of untruthfulness
Trust: The firm belief in the reliability of a person
Honesty: The quality of being free of untruthfulness
Trust: The firm belief in the reliability of a person
Notice how these definitions are connected, but are separate elements.
I want to share a diagram I drew showing the relationship between the person giving the trust, the person receiving the trust, and the third party.
I want to share a diagram I drew showing the relationship between the person giving the trust, the person receiving the trust, and the third party.
This scenario could probably be demonstrated with a more effective diagram, but a triangle seemed to cover most of the relationship.
Also, keep in mind I created my own definitions for "truster" and "trustee", so don’t be confused.
Truster: the person putting their trust in someone else
Trustee: the person being trusted
This concept is very complicated to explain, so let's use an example.
John(truster) John and Max are friends
Max(trustee)
Rosie(3rd party) Rosie is Max’s girlfriend
John, Max, and Rosie are at a party. While Rosie is gone, John tells Max that he spilled juice on his shirt. John is very embarrassed and doesn't want anyone else to know. When Rosie returns, she asks Max what happened.
Max is in a situation where he has a choice to tell his girlfriend what happened, or keep it a secret.
This is my point. If Max lies to his girlfriend, he keeps his trust with John. If Max tells his girlfriend, he breaks his trust with John. Either way, someone is having their trust broken. In other words, Max could lie to protect the truth, or be honest and break the trust.
This is my point. If Max lies to his girlfriend, he keeps his trust with John. If Max tells his girlfriend, he breaks his trust with John. Either way, someone is having their trust broken. In other words, Max could lie to protect the truth, or be honest and break the trust.
This idea made me think. I see myself as very honest and trustworthy, but realizing all of this, how honest and trustworthy am I??
As baffling as it is, in reality, I have lied and betrayed trust for the truth. This is such a confusing concept, and I may never fully understand it, but it seems to be a common misunderstanding of trust.
As baffling as it is, in reality, I have lied and betrayed trust for the truth. This is such a confusing concept, and I may never fully understand it, but it seems to be a common misunderstanding of trust.
People tell secrets, and they are often passed down a line of people before stopping. Why do people do this? Because they are afraid of lying to a friend. Afraid of keeping the truth from someone they trust.
On the other hand, some people keep secrets well, and they lie to anyone asking about it to protect the secret.
By this point, I hope you understand my observation. Although keeping a secret may seem like the right option, you still may be lying and misleading people you trust to keep them from the truth, which is by definition: dishonesty.
From what I have come to see, it is impossible to be completely trustworthy and honest. It is simply unrealistic. This was not directed at any particular person or scenario, it was instead a way to share my thoughts.
Hopefully, this made some sense. I enjoy digging into reality and finding flaws in the common understanding of everyday instances, and I hope this helped you realize nobody is perfect.